Global Warming
Wataru: ...Therefore, I came to the conclusion that Osaka has the best takoyaki. The end.
Garrison-sensei: Thank you, that was well done. But, your sentece structure was worse than an elementary school student's, and it was completely off-topic so, you get a C- on this assignment.
Garrison-sensei's class is so tough.
We were reading our homework assignments on "Global Warming and it's Impact Upon the Earth".
Of course, I didn't do mine.
I can only pray Sensei doesn't pick me.
Suginami: That's frustrating. I thought he did a great job connecting Osaka's takoyaki and global warming.
Yoshiyuki: I hate to tell you this, but they have absolutely nothing to do with each other.
Suginami: What are you talking about, Sakurai? What do you think would happen if all the takoyaki shops in Osaka made takoyaki at the same time? Osaka would be blamed for causing global warming. That's a serious problem, don't you think? Well, that's just implicitly letting people know there are so many rakoyaki shops in Osaka.
Yoshiyuki: Wataru wasn't thinking that deeply. His report turned into a food review at the end.
Suginami: Hmm. He always stumbles at the end.
Wataru: Leave me alone. Ahhh, I was confident on this report.
Yoshiyuki: You might've gotten a better grade if you mentioned "global warming" once in your report.
Wataru: But I did. I mentioned a takoyaki shop called "Global Warming", remember?
Yoshiyuki: You're helpless.
Garrison-sensei: Hmmm, let's see. Next is... Okay, Tsukishima-san.
Koko: Ah, y-yes.
Koko stood up in a rush while breaking into a sweat.
Koko: "Regarding the Earth and Global Warming"... A decade ago, global warming was progressing rapidly due to the influence of things such as oil wells. However, recently, thanks to development of new types of energy which are replacing oil...
I'm impressed.
Of course she did her assignment and she did a great job on it.
There was no comparison to Wataru's "Diary of an Elementary School Student".
Koko: War takes precious lives, and not only that, it accelerates the destruction of our environment. In my opinion, if each of us on this Earth took one step towards eliminating such destruction... I hope we all put our best efforts into ecological preservation. The end.
Garrison-sensei: Marvelous! Absolutely wonderful! There's nothing else I need to teach you!
Koko: Wheh?
Yoshiyuki: Hey, hey.
Garrison-sensei: I'm kidding. You get an A+, Tsukishima-san.
Impressive.
Koko sat down with a bashful smile.
Suginami: How impressive of Miss Tsukishima. Beautiful sentences and familiar examples, her affection rating went up even more now, that's for sure.
Wataru: Don't say that. Tsukishima's affection rating is high to begin with.
Garrison-sensei: Okay, next is... How about you, Sakurai-kun.
Yoshiyuki: Shit.
Damn, he picked me.
Double damn. I didn't do the assignment.
I better tell him the truth.
Yoshiyuki: Uh... I forgot to do the assignment.
Garrison-sensei: What did you say? That's not good. I guess I have to let Muppet-kun scold you.
Garrison-sensei always wore a finger puppet on his right hand.
Whenever there was something he'd rather not say, he let his puppet speak.
Muppet-kun: You bastard! How dare you forget your damn homework! You get a D-, bitch!
Yoshiyuki: Oh, man.
It bugged me that I was scolded by a puppet, but it was my fault.
I shouldn't have forgotten the assignment.
Koko: Hee, hee.
To top it all off, Koko was giggling at me.
Shit. She's cute when she giggles.
Garrison-sensei: Okay, next is... Yukimura-san. Please share your report.
Anzu: Yes.
Anzu stood up with an expressionless face as usual.
She held her report with both hands, and her arms were stretched out as if she was accepting a diploma.
Anzu: If current trends in global warming continue... Not only abnormal weather such as floods, droughts, and typhoons... The ecological balance would be disrupted, causing epidemics and food shortages. Eventually, the Earth would be incapable of maintaining oxygen generation and the atmosphere would be destroyed. Life on Earth would burn and vanish. If you don't mind that, then go ahead and destroy the environment, foolish humans. Repay your debt with your very lives. Ah, ha, hah. ...The end.
.........
Needless to say...
Since that day, everyone in class started putting their efforts into ecological causes.
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